In thirty years of marriage, we two have always claimed our own, same side of the bed; his is the right and mine the left. It has always been that way - throughout the 10 house moves and countless nights in strange beds when on holiday, or on the road. Alternately we have been winners and losers; in some motels I get the light switch and TV controls, in others I am crammed beside the wall.
In our current house I have a distinct advantage. I am right opposite the bathroom door, so I am not the one who has to face the bumping and stumbling over furniture and stray shoes when I have to get up at night. As well, my side of the bed is directly beneath the ceiling fan, and furthermore, I am positioned at an intersection between the window and two doorways, right in the pathway of the slightest cooling breeze.
On several warmish nights this summer, when we have engaged in the endless battle over whether or not the air-conditioner should be on, I have gallantly offered to swap sides.
Would he be in it? Of course not! He isn't even prepared to accept my obligation free, one night only, special trial offer. Men are creatures of habit. This one is determined that he will be getting out of the right side of the bed - forever.
I wonder whether it's the same with all couples. Or are some happily ambidextrous - as I think I am - if ever I get the chance to find out.
Most women don't seem to recognize that men do this on purpose, for the sake of their wives. [I've had a few of those, so I'm speaking from experience.]
You see, for right handed men, sleeping on the right hand side of the bed means it is easier to reach underneath the bed for the knife, pistol, baseball bat or rifle which is kept there for the protection of wife and family.
It is a man's duty to sleep on the right side of the bed. I mean, how many women are first out of bed to see if that odd noise in the house is or is not a burglar?
As my brother says: Women are a strange breed of cattle who don't seem to understand why men do what they do.
Posted by: Tjilpi | April 21, 2006 at 02:01 PM
Oddly enough in all of our moves we end up changing sides much of the time. I am mostly on the left, but here at the apartment I sleep on the right...weird.
Posted by: Tabor | April 21, 2006 at 02:15 PM
tjilpi speaks truth, as always.
even sleeping solo (for the moment) on a double bed, i cling to the right side, right by the baseball bat.
duty bound, honor bound, such is the spirit of men.
Posted by: kim | April 22, 2006 at 02:10 AM
We always gravitate to the same sides of the bed too, like you, even on holidays in motels/hotels. Don't even have to think about it! Apparently one side is supposed to be the "dominant" side, can't remember which.
Posted by: Val | April 22, 2006 at 12:42 PM
Are we determining the right/left sides of the bed by looking at it or by being in it? If we are in it, then I would think that Tjilpi's theory could be a problem. Wouldn't you roll over and grab the knife/baseball bat with your left hand, rather than the right? However, if the right is the way you look at the bed, then that wouldn't be a problem.
I have always tended to sleep on the side nearest the window (is it for quick escape, I wonder ...lol). Therefore, in the 6 houses in which we've lived, I've slept on the left (when in the bed), except for the first year of marriage.
I too, am right under the ceiling fan and have closest access to the breeze. However, I've become very expert at walking around the bed and anything else on my nocturnal wanderings in the dark.
I cannot recall the layout of the 40 different bedrooms in which we slept in 1993 in England and USA. I know that there was only one night in the whole year in which I didn't have to climb stairs to go to bed. That was in Gretna Green in Scotland. My knees are glad that they don't have to climb stairs at home.
Posted by: Alice | April 23, 2006 at 12:57 PM
I don't know if this is an American thing, if my husband and I are out of step with society, thus need to change our ways after 40+ years of marriage, or what, but he sleeps on the left side, always has, when he's not busy taking a big share out of the middle, too.
I find that sleeping on the right for protection story a bit suspect myself, for the reasons Alice explained. Now if you're left-handed, then that's a different story.
I will now return to the other side of the pond and stay out of Australian sleeping habits.
Posted by: joared | April 23, 2006 at 04:55 PM
I like to sleep on the left side of the bed, as I've had a DVT in my left arm in the past and am scared of sleeping with it in confined spaces. I suspect this is a rare reason for choice of bed side.
Posted by: elsewhere | April 23, 2006 at 10:47 PM
We have our own sides and even if I'm sleeping alone, I stay on my side. After this many years, habit seems to be set in stone.
Posted by: pat | April 24, 2006 at 12:40 PM
I agree with Tjilpi and Kim. Brains such as theirs could not possibly be wrong.
Posted by: Right Hand Man | April 24, 2006 at 04:29 PM
Nope, we're not the slightest bit ambedextrous. Wherever we are it's the same side, home and away.
Posted by: IanH | April 24, 2006 at 07:49 PM
I have often wondered if it depends on which side one turns to for sexual affection - who initiates it, with which hand [or foot] etc.
Posted by: Anzac | April 25, 2006 at 11:06 AM
Geez Jude, what are you running here - some kind of Dr Phil show??
I'm off to the RSL - on my bike!
Lovely Dawn Service here. A chill in the air but no nip in the wind.
[Joke - I have been to Nihon several times.]
Posted by: Tjilpi | April 25, 2006 at 11:10 AM
After 26 years of marriage we've also maintained our sides of the bed, though on vacation trips we will occasionally switch. (Sounds more kinky than it is.)
Posted by: pablo | April 27, 2006 at 08:52 AM
I wouldn't have seen that as particularly kinky, Pablo - but the fact that you brought it up ..?
Posted by: Jude | April 28, 2006 at 10:08 AM